Published September 11, 2010
Love:
Love leaves scars to learn from;
love leaves care to open.
Love gives hope to believe,
love delivers a key to use.
True love uncovers passion,
but some love reveals truth.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,285 Literary Works • 674,333 Reviews
Thank you for the feedback! Honestly, I was a little unsure about a couple parts but thanks for making pointing out it would've been better off the other way. Lol, thank you!
Pleased to be acquainted Kat!
Though short poems are kind of hard to go into a lot of detail on I will try by best! (and don't think short poems are bad, I like them much more than long ones.)
Over all I really liked it, especially the last two lines... these.
Yeah, I really liked those! They were good!
That was about it from my view. I loved the statement made in this, it rings very true to all, in my mind anyways... So yeah.... Keep writing! And post them so we can see!
I like this poem, but like simplycomplex said it seems more like you are stating your opinion than anything. You didn't make me think like I think all poems should. There was no question I had to answer for myself. You stated fact and the fact is true. You need to leave room for discussion in my opinion.
I hope I helped,
A. S.
Alright, so, I think short poems are harder to review, but I'll give it a try.
I get your point and what you're trying to say here, but I feel like you're just expressing your opinion in a way. The poem's nice, but each line is like a statement and doesn't feel very poetic to me. Just expanding on this more and adding a line or two between what's here and breaking it into a couple stanzas will really improve this poem. You have a good idea here, but it's just an idea. I think expanding on it will really make it better.
In the last line, "but" doesn't really fit there. "some love reveals truth" isn't contradictory with "true love uncovers passion", so putting "and" would work better.
I hope I helped! Keep writing